Marriage in Islam is a vast subject with many aspects to be discussed and known. The first thing to be known to every Muslim is the importance of marriage. Below is given an incident to know how much it is important to get married.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5063; Muslim, 1401
There is a story of three men who came to Prophet s.a.w.w and asked about the His worship. When they were told about it, they thought this is not much then one of them said; “I keep away from women and I will never get married.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to this man and to his companions that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) fasted and broke his fast, he stayed up praying and slept, and he married women.
Then he said: “Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.”
From this hadith, we can see that this is not worship or a good act to not get married because ALLAH swt has created us with human desires and HE has never stopped us to do a lawful act, in fact, if we perform a lawful act keeping in mind to get the pleasure of ALLAH, we will be rewarded for that. But there are many people who want to get married but they cannot get married on time due to many issues, like some of them cannot afford to get married due to any reason, for these people the Messenger of ALLAH s.a.w.w said:
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065; Muslim, 1400
Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.”
So, from the above hadith we learn that the purpose of marriage is to bring the sense of respect for the opposite sex by guarding one’s own self. This lawful act saves us from so many other haram acts that are marked as gunnah-e kabira (the big sins). Similarly, for the people who cannot afford to do marriage on time, they can observe fast to avoid any ugly situation.
ALLAH swt has created men and women as companions of each other. Without man, woman cannot survive in the society since it will be hard to live in this world without a protector and guard, and men are the protectors and guards for women appointed by ALLAH swt. Similarly, without women, a man cannot survive a normal life because men cannot perform the daily domestic tasks as done by women. The most important aspect of marriage is the safeguard of the chastity.
In Quran, ALLAH swt said:
Ar-Rum 30:21
“And one of His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them, and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.”
The verse above makes it very clear that ALLAH swt has given humans the provision to find peace and love and rest in their spouses, and HE has put love between the married couple. Now it’s up to the married to couple to live in peace and happiness with each other without trying to change the other according to one’s own taste and desires.
In another place, ALLAH swt says in quran:
al-Noor 24:32
“And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty.”
The above verse says that when one decides to marry, he/she should think of marrying those who are single and while thinking of marriage one should give primary importance to the virtues and goodness of the person and not what riches he/she has. For it is in ALLAH’s hand to bless the couple with ease in this world in terms of money.
What about those who like someone and want to marry that person? We see that it is not considered good in society to do the love marriage and mostly young girls and boys fell in “love” and cross their limits by arranging secret meetings and not caring for the limits set by Islam for the people who are na-mehram to each other. For these people, there is very clear stance in Islam that, if they like someone, the only thing most liked in Islam is their marriage. Prophet of ALLAH, MUHAMMAD s.a.w.w said:
“The Hadith “We do not think that there is anything better for those who love one another than marriage.”
(Narrated by Ibn Maajah)
The above hadith makes it clear that there is no place for flirt and “so called enjoyment” in Islam but it is permitted to get married to the one you like, in fact it has been presented in the above hadith as a best choice.
To conclude, I will say that islam does not prohibits us to do any lawful act but Islam surely has put decent limits to every act. Islam does not believe in free and open society as we can see in west, but Islam promotes love, care and respect in the Muslim society where we can earn loads of reward only by acting in the prescribed ways of ALLAH.