What to see when choosing a life Partner

Beauty or character, what should one look for while choosing a life partner? If we go by the today’s practices and trends, then it’s nothing but beauty which enhances with riches. If we go by Islamic point of view, it talks about uprightness in character and piousness.

To talk about mulims, a good muslim’s choice while looking for a life partner should be someone who is upright in character. One must expect any un-islamic attitude from his/her life partner. A man cannot live happy with a female who does not care about the na mahrams or gives extra and unwanted attention to the people her husband does not like. Similarly a wife cannot live with a person who is not of good character, who does not care about his wife, beats her and has illegal relations with other women. This mostly happens when marriages are arranged without looking for the character of the person but looks and riches are counted only.

There is a saying “beauty lies in the eyes of beholder”. This mean beauty is not on the face of the person but it is in the eyes of the person who looks. The one who looks for fair character will ultimately get a person with fair character. The problems of marriage in our society are growing just because we have abandoned the Islamic ways and have adopted the worldly pleasures. This is why we see so many girls un married.

While looking for a life partner, we must rely on ALLAH swt. We should trust Him because HIS decisions could never be wrong. Our beloved Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.w used to tell sahib r.a. to do istekhara overmatters that confused them.

It is related on the authority of Jabir ibn 'Abdullah that the Prophet (s.a.w) used to teach his companions to seek, through a special du'a (known as an istikharah), the guidance of Allah in all matters which affected them. Rasulallah (s.a.w) said: "When you are confused about what you should do in a certain situation, then pray two rak'at of nafl salaat and read the following du'a (du'a of istikharah)."

But, how many of us do that? Instead we rely on our intelligence and likeness which is of course limited in every aspect. But it does not mean that one cannot like any female or male. If one likes someone, the best thing for such people will be to get married, as indicated by a hadith of Muhammad s.a.ww.

While looking for a wife or husband, one must not think about any worldly pleasures associated with marriage like dowry and riches and all that. These things were never present in islam and they have no value. A wife/husband if is good looking along with good character, there is no harm in it. But just to reject someone because he/she is not good looking or rich, this is not good in fact this is sin to look down upon other in any way.

Muhammad s.a.w.w said:

Sahi Bukhari Volumn 001, Book 002, Hadith Number 051.
Narated By ‘Umar bin Al-Khattab : Allah’s Apostle said, “The reward of deeds depends upon the intention and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended. So whoever emigrated for Allah and His Apostle, then his emigration was for Allah and His Apostle. And whoever emigrated for worldly benefits or for a woman to marry, his emigration was for what he emigrated for. .

Hence, if oen looks for worldly gain, it will be left on this very world.

Allah Says in the Quran 3:14
Fair in the eyes of men is the love of things they covet: Women and sons; Heaped-up hoards of gold and silver; horses branded (for blood and excellence); and (wealth of) cattle and well-tilled land. Such are the possessions of this world’s life; but in nearness to Allah is the best of the goals (To return to).

Therefore, look for what will make your life good with respect to your hereafter because riches and beauty are time limited and they can be taken back any time.
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