Islamic Way of Parenting

Islam is religion of peace and humanity. The lesson of peace and kindness that we have been taught through Quran has been taught the nations before us as well. Parent-children relation is the most blessed and pure relation among all the relations. When ALLAH swt blesses a couple with child this gives them the ultimate happiness and also they are given a duty.

Being parents does not only mean to be happy but parenting is one of the most difficult and patient task. It is the duty of parents to up bring their kids in a way commanded by ALLAH swt. Parents have to take this duty seriously. If children are good muslims, they become sadqa jariah for parents, but if parents do not take care of kids in their early life and they lose the right path, they become a continuous azab for their parents.

Therefore it is important to take care of the upbringing of the kids. A kid belonging to good parents will have good personality traits because children see and learn from their parents. Mother’s womb and than her lap are the two places to learn for the kids. So, good behavior must be maintained before the kids.

Abusing kids and before kids are two acts that attack the moral development of kids the fast. If parents use harsh words and tone with kids, they cannot let kids respect them and others. Their kids will be exactly like them, and the parents will have no chance to repent once their time of good parenting is over.

ALLAH swt says in Quran: 66:6

“O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allâh, but do that which they are commanded.”

So, believers are warned against the hell fire and they are told to take care of their families and do those measures which can save them and their families from the torment of hell fire. First family includes parents and their children. If parents do not like hell fire for themselves, they cannot like that horrible place for their children too. Parents have been bestowed the love and care for their kids which no other relation has in this world be it siblings or any other relation.

There are certain rights of children that parents should fulfill (some of them at their ease.)


“And the mothers should suckle their children for two whole years for him who desires to make complete the time of suckling.”

A child who is breast fed for 2 years, he remains immune for many diseases because the mother milk contains those natural elements that contain cure for many illnesses.

Parents cannot deprive their children from the share of the property they own, they cannot disown them as we see happening in today’s world. If parents do so, it will be a deviation from the order of ALLAH.

Nisa 4:7)

“Men shall have a portion of what the parents and the near relatives leave, and women shall have a portion of what the parents and the near relatives leave, whether there is little or much of it; a stated portion.”

Parents cannot kill their children because they fear that they cannot fed them. It is ALLAH that feeds everyone, and every child gets his due share in the rizq that ALLAH provides. So, no parents are allowed to kill their kids. But unfortunately, it is a common practice to kill children and then to commit suicide, both acts are haram and acts of cruelty especially towards innocent kids. No soul touches this earth without the will of ALLAH so nobody should dare to challenge will of ALLAH.


“And do not slay your children for (fear of) poverty-- We provide for you and for them-- and do not draw nigh to indecencies, those of them which are apparent and those which are concealed, and do not kill the soul which Allah has forbidden except for the requirements of justice; this He has enjoined you with that you may understand.”

ALLAh does not require the muslim children to follow deen of parents if it is not islam, infact it is forbidden to follow them even when you love them the most. Better is to invite them to islam with understanding anf with patience.


O you who believe! do not take your fathers and your brothers for guardians if they love unbelief more than belief; and whoever of you takes them for a guardian, these it is that are the unjust.

Losing children is indeed a huge grief. No one can understand the mother’s grief and sorrow when she loses a child because ALLAH swt had put a limitless sea of love in her heart for her children. A mother gives birth to her child after bearing pain that no one else can bear from any other disease. The pain of giving birth cannot be imagined and defined only a mother can understand it.

Volume 9, Book 92, Number 413:

Narrated Abu Said: A woman came to Allah's Apostle and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Men (only) benefit by your teachings, so please devote to us from (some of) your time, a day on which we may come to you so that you may teach us of what Allah has taught you." Allah's Apostle said, "Gather on such-and-such a day at such-and-such a place." They gathered and Allah's Apostle came to them and taught them of what Allah had taught him. He then said, "No woman among you who has lost her three children (died) but that they will screen her from the Fire." A woman among them said, "O Allah's Apostle! If she lost two children?" She repeated her question twice, whereupon the Prophet said, "Even two, even two, even two!" (See Hadith No. 341, Vol. 2)

Parents are blessed to have children. The value of children can be asked to those couples who do not have this blessing. Children are innocent. They do not understand this world like their parents. It is the parents who can treat them good and can teach them how to face the world.
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